mind clearing moment

i havent seen u in over a yeah and still everyday u cross my mind,
im still living in the past cause i dont wanna leave u behind.
Prolly not till i meet another angel will these clouds move and let my light shine,
so until then imma stay got this money grind.
Get ma shit together so history doesn't repeat it self,
cause i refuse to lose another love cause of me searching for personal wealth.
i did alot wrong even tho it was unintentional and a miss understanding,
all i wanted to do is be their for u like, so much i became demanding,
controlling ur every action like u didnt have ur own feet for standing.
it wasnt to degrade you or make u feel inferior,
it was to let u kno above all other females u were their superior.
I thought the more i did, the more you'd love me,
when all u wanted was to be love by me, personally.
No gifts, no help, no advice, just be there for you,
But rest assured in future i will kno what to do.
Let you be you and discover your own lane,
cause for anybody to break free, you gotta let loosen the chain,
let them discover life, all the fun, the love, the heartache and the pain.
Even after everything i would still start over and do it all again.
I can tell from u voice u have no interest in going a second round,
but if u do and im single, dont hesitate to come back around.
i miss ur face, your voice and just having u around,
listening to all ur medical stories about ur lab compounds.
I could go on forever, telling u everything that i miss,
but imma rap this up, cause u may not even read this.
the thing i miss the most and its sad that i cant remember it,
are the soft sexy lips, and the dreams i saw when we kissed... shit


i STill love u kirby and that will never change,
ur initial still sits close to my heart where u will always remain...

I try to play cool, Actin like what you do don't phase me,
Meanwhile I'm sittin at home, all alone, Tryin to keep myself from goin crazy
When I'm in the house, when I think about you being out, I want my baby back,
but once derailed, it is not that easy to get back on track
I thought it would be easy, but it's hard for me to let you go.

but instead u let me float away like a balloon,
i think on purpose so our connecttion could be as far away as the moon.
yet still in sight, for what might be a future or a distant memory.


10 months and not one drunk, angry, or depressed text about u missing what we had,
but then again why would u miss something u describe as being just so bad.

As sad as u described i made u for soooo long i wonder why u still even wanna be my friend. Maybe payback cause u kno i still love u and want u until my very last breathe, so u gonna make me gasp for each one till my time runs out. if u wanted to break me im HAMMER, if u wanted payback you bankrupted my heart, if u wanted to leave ur mark im internally branded, if u wanted a hero u found ur superman.

all this from a girl who likes me and saw a picture of my ex and said " damn, yall look like yall belong together, when yall hooking back up?" never hear somebody say that about anybody and i got a cold chill. to think all that was captured in a single picture taken by a stranger taken at an italian restaurant. guess thats why i had that one engraved into the dog tag...

Grenade VS Ice Box

stuck between ice and an explosive place

Bruno Mars Grenade

Easy come, easy go
That's just how you live, oh
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give
Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss,
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked,
Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won't do the same

No, no, no, no
Black, black, black and blue beat me till I'm numb
Tell the devil I said “hey” when you get back to where you're from
Mad woman, bad woman,
That's just what you are, yeah,
You’ll smile in my face then rip the breaks out my car
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash

You tossed it in the trash, yes you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won't do the same

If my body was on fire, ooh
You’ d watch me burn down in flames
You said you loved me you're a liar
Cause you never, ever, ever did baby...
But darling I’ll still catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won't do the same.
No, you won’t do the same,
You wouldn’t do the same,
Ooh, you’ll never do the same,
No, no, no, no

Omarion - Ice Box


Fussin' and fightin', we back at it again
I know that, it's my fault, but you don't understand (no)
I got memories, this is crazy
You ain't nothing like the girl I used to know
Good with ma, good with pa, cool with all my niggas
I should try, truth is I wanna let u in, but no
Damn these memories, and it's crazy
You ain't nothing like the girl I used to know

[Bridge]
Girl I really wanna work this out, cause I'm tired of fightin'
And I really hope you still want me the way I want you
I said I really wanna work this out, damn girl I'm tryin'
It's no excuse, no excuse
But I got this

[Chorus 2x]
I got this icebox where my heart used to be (but I got this)
I got this icebox where my heart used to be (said I got this)
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold

Why can't I get it right, just can't let it go
I opened up, she let me down, I won't feel that no more
I got memories, this is crazy
She ain't nothing like the girl I used to know
I don't mean to take it out on you baby but I can't help it
'Cause my heart is in the same ol' condition that baby left it
And I, I apologize, for makin' you cry
Look me in my eye and promise you won't do me the same

[Bridge]
Girl I really wanna work this out, 'cause I'm tired of fightin'
And I really hope you still want me the way I want you
I said I really wanna work this out, damn girl I'm tryin'
It's no excuse, no excuse
But I got this

[Chorus 2x]
I got this icebox where my heart used to be (but I got this)
I got this icebox where my heart used to be (said I got this)
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold

I don't wanna be stuck up in this cold cold world ('cause I don't wanna be) [2x]
Don't wanna mess this up better keep your eye on me girl [6x]

[Bridge]
Girl I really wanna work this out, cause I'm tired of fightin'
And I really hope you still want me the way I want you
I said I really wanna work this out, damn girl I'm tryin'
It's no excuse, no excuse
But I got this

[Chorus 2x]
I got this icebox where my heart used to be (but I got this)
I got this icebox where my heart used to be (said I got this)
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold

The Aftermath

Somethings you can never forgive,
cause some things u can never forget.
Everytime you recall that feeling,
your emotions are overcome with sadness grief and regrets.
How can u ever move past it,
when that thought alone always brings back thoughts so tragic.
They say its better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all,
who told that lie, id rather have loved and died.
That short term love turns into to long term tears, next time fears,
and currently steers you away from ever loving again.
At least thats how i feel currently as the man i stand here as of today,
but whose to say some lady wont come sway my way of thinking,
So imma keep praying, faithing, waiting and wishing.

1 day I'll be happy again